Something Catholic!

So yesterday, I ran into another one of those cafeteria Catholics. You know, sometimes I feel bad about using that term, because I know that a good chunk of the time I’m not doing as God would want. He sent me a note yesterday:

Hi, daughter.

Read your blog. Could you maybe just cut the swearing, please? I heard you say Goddammit in the lounge when you lost something too…

-God

P.S. Say a Hail Mary.

But, anyways, for those who may not know, cafeteria catholics are those Catholics running around who basically disagree with everything the Church says…yet still say they’re Catholic. Want an example? Nancy Pelosi is a GREAT example. Supports abortion? Check. Argues with the Pope on stuff he does not have the authority to change? Check. Lack of understanding about the faith? Check check check!

The funny thing is, I didn’t realize I was talking to one until the lady (who’s pretty nice btw) started complaining about how her dad is “such a conservative Catholic, he won’t even wear shorts or jeans to church.”

And my reply was “…well yeah…”without even thinking. Sigh. I got the glare. T_T

You know, that used to be me. I used to be her. What happened?

But I used to think how oppressive it was that I couldn’t wear jeans…until I basically heard this logic.

If you’ll dress up for the President or a date, why wouldn’t you dress up for God? You know, since he kinda made the universe and all that…

So, since then, if I can manage it I’m wearing skirts or slacks. If I have to wear jeans (usually due to other clothes being dirty) I make sure they’re my best ones, and that I dress up the shirt more. And of course, no boobage in the church. I’m not looking to marry Jesus, and he’s not interested in these bazonga bosoms anyways.

Besides, shorts at Mass? Are you kidding me? I want to see Jesus, not some hairy man’s legs. *Shudder* Or hairy woman’s legs….

The reason Catholics who actually try to look nice to go to Mass are doing all those “unnecessary” things are because we literally believe we are going to see Jesus, and not just in the “He’s in everybody” way. We not only are going to see him, we’re going to eat him.

Yes, occasionally it occurs to me that that is rather creepy. Why, God? Why would you have us EAT you? Well, you’re the creator of all, so I’m guessing I’ll just trust you. (Check out John…might be chapter 6 but I’m not sure)

That’s why we throw a big fit when people who don’t believe that get in line and act like its a crackers and juice party or something. Or when people who’ve got mortal sins on their souls join in. Or when somebody has publicly gone against the Church we believe Christ founded decides its their right to get up and munch on Jesus without a care in the world.

It’s extremely disrespectful, so we try not to disrespect. Hence why Catholics attempt to wear their best when going to Mass. If we’re poor and all we have is one pair of jeans sans holes, we wear it. But if we have the option of wearing something better, we ought to.

You would do it for the President. Why not the creator of the universe, who is the absolute most freaking awesome Being ever?

Hi.

Thanks for writing this rant or whatever, and you would not believe what I’ve seen….

God

P.S. How are clowns pastoral? They give me the creeps….I would never have let them around Baby Jesus.

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3 Comments

Filed under Random

3 responses to “Something Catholic!

  1. Syb, Syb

    FAN-tastic! Witty! And truthful, oh my!

  2. Syb, Syb

    Praise God for this.

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