(real) Catholics

So, last post I titled it with the qualifier “real” before the word Catholic. This is because there are a lot of…imaginary Catholics floating around.

Seriously, we may even be watching you masturbate like that perverted LOLcat.

That’s a mortal sin by the way, what you’re doing. Stop it, or Mother Mary is going to cry.

So what is a “real” Catholic? Technically, anyone baptized Catholic is Catholic. But what I’m adressing here is the HUGE number of Catholics in name only who don’t really care about what the Church teaches, and in fact think they can “change” the Church. They imagine that they are Catholic.

First, a real Catholic realizes that the Church is as far from a democracy as you could get, and is okay with that.

More importantly, go google the Nicene Creed. According to the Nicene Creed, written by Catholics to combat some serious heresy going on a way heck of a long time ago….

We believe in ONE GOD,THE FATHER, THE ALMIGHTY (some of those imaginary Catholics don’t like the patriarchal bent of that one)

It goes on to say something about Jesus being one Being with the Father. Jesus=God. Born of the VIRGIN Mary (another thing imaginary Catholics may or may not argue)

Then there’s lots of cool poetic verses, something about Jesus coming back to judge (oh no, Progressive/Imaginary Catholics loathe that word) the living and the dead….

Oh yeah…and ONE,HOLY,CATHOLIC,APOSTOLIC CHURCH… somewhere around the end. Imaginary Catholics like the whole one thing about as much as they like an all male priesthood. Ugh…relativism.

The Holy part they like, cuz it sounds pretty. No really, pretty.

Catholic they like to say means just the greek meaning of Universal, but if it were just that, we wouldn’t have that word “one” stuck in there either.

And then there’s Apostolic. Meaning that the Church hierarchy today continues unbroken from Jesus’ founding on Peter.

Basically, Imaginary/Progressive Catholics are closer to Protestants, which is okay…I guess… but still heretical.

Bottom line is..don’t agree with the Church on Her beliefs, which were founded by Christ who is Lord? You’re not Catholic.

Take it this way, if I wanted to say Mohammed wasn’t exactly a prophet, but there’s still  one God, and tried to go walking around teaching that…well aside from getting blown up, the result would still be heresy, at least by Islamic standards. Just like Christianity. Minus explosions…


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