Interracial, International, Inter-diocese, and not quite entirely Catholic Marriage

Yeah. That’s right. I’m in love with the most wonderful man on the planet. We shall call him…Mr. Serrano, since he really likes serrano peppers.

Why is he the most wonderful man on the planet? He can stand my talking without thoughts of suicide, always cheers me on, is thoughtful and kind to many people, and…well the list goes on. Sure, he’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

Oh, and I’m not informing my parents of my marriage to him until I at least graduate college. There’s lots of good reasons for that too, including a mother who will try to control absolutely everything. Well, that and my family has never really thought I’m capable of doing anything on my own, no matter how many times I continue to prove them wrong.

So why am I telling the internet community (what little visits) about this? Because I need a place to rant!

So, Mr. Serrano is from another country and is Hispanic. Meaning that when we get married, we shall have to jump through some hoops to make sure everything is A-OK by the government. I am not looking forward to that part, as it may involve hiring a lawyer. I’m not a law student, and I know I’m going to need someone to guide me through the process. Neither I nor Mr. Serrano know a whole lot about legal language, and we’d like to avoid getting sucked into the whole immigration whirlpool that’s going on right now.

Its going to be a long haul, and its going to get longer.

I’m Catholic. Mr Serrano, baptized Catholic, is also Catholic. But he’s not an Imaginary Catholic, so I’m fine. What I mean is, he admits and realizes that not having all the necessary sacraments and not really intending to go to Mass any time soon, means that “while he’s Catholic, he’s not an aficionado de la Iglesia Catolica.” However, he’s perfectly fine with me raising the kids Catholic (I’m not sure he realizes how Catholic I hope they can be…my dream is a priest, a nun, and three other kids to give me grandbabies. Key word being: DREAM. I fully realize I may just end up with all priests or something. ^_^)

Dreaming aside, this is going to be a long haul. I need to talk with a priest, because I may have to get a dispensation from the Bishop of the area I’m getting married in just to marry Mr. Serrano. You see, Mr. Serrano has only been baptized Catholic, and I heard somewhere that one has to go through Confirmation (which requires, generally, having gone through Communion and Reconciliation) in order to have the Sacrament of Matrimony.

Shit.

Well, this is what I signed up for, and since I’m pretty sure this guy is the one God meant for me, I’m sure it will work out. But its going to be hard. Because not only do I have to get a dispensation in the diocese of another country from a Bishop I don’t even know (yet) I am going to have to get permission to marry wayyyy outside of my diocese.That part actually shouldn’t be too hard, except that Catholic or not, my wonderful Mr. Serrano has to attend classes with me for marriage.

I do like the classes part. Although Mr.Serrano finally made his decision (and I hope and pray he changes his mind and gets his Catholic butt Confirmed…) I have decided that any man who wants to marry me must realize he is pretty much marrying the Church too. That’s less of a decision though, and more of a fact. I can’t be separated from my faith. I tried. Its painful, messy, and altogether stupid to try.

That’s right, he’s going to have to at least know what a Rosary is, what certain important doctrine/dogmas are, and come to Mass at least every so often, if only to help me manage the kids. He’s also going to have to be okay with a weekly Rosary with the kids- he doesn’t have to join in, but he better support it. No, I haven’t told him that yet.

Even so…a part of me is very sad that he won’t be there for every Mass, because he wants to be there. I wish he could feel what I feel, or have a piece of it for a little while. As difficult as the legal process will be, the separation of religion is going to be the worst. Will I always be sitting in the pew alone?

I do have hope that someday, he will wake up. I can tell its in there, like it was in me, before I became Catholic. I can tell its in there because of his honesty and truthfulness- unlike many imaginary Catholics, he recognizes what the truth is, and recognizes it, even if he is not sure he agrees with it.

Looks like Saint Monica, Saint Augustine, and I are going to be real good friends.

Hi.

Saw that you weren’t in Mass yesterday. You know that feeling you get when you’re in the pew alone and hardly recognize most people? I kind of feel the same when you’re not there.

See you next week?

God

P.S. Bring that novio of yours, too. And go talk to a Priest already!

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