Wow, I am into alliteration lately. I promise this shall be a short post.
I don’t know why, or for what reason, but I’m really interested in the veil. Maybe its because I have seen more Muslim women wearing veils (the kind that still show the face) and noticing that whatever *their* context for wearing it, it *is* rather beautiful.
I have a friend who wears a veil to Mass occasionally, so I know that Christians do it, and have done it. I saw it when I was in Japan (nothing beats traditional like a little old lady in full out kimono with a mantilla during Easter Mass in Kyoto) and so I’m familiar with it.
I don’t much like lace, though that’s my personal preference- lace looks hard to clean and is delicate.
Regardless of the fashion end of it (that is a bit of a pull) I am considering it for Adoration, and maybe Mass. This subject is really pulling me, and God has been whispering not that I *should* do it, but that maybe, I should try it and see what happens.
I like the symbolism- there’s obedience and reverence before God, and submission to my husband (well…not married yet).
Of course, old me is freaking out.
YOU ARE GOING TO SUBMIT TO WHO?
Also, even though I’m sure some people will judge me for it (because I’ll suddenly be overly-pious or something…) I like the idea of something physically reminding me to pay some frigging attention.
I have ADD and WOW do I get distracted during Mass.
Every so often, I come back to this idea of veiling. It is explicitly mentioned in the Bible, and really, I don’t mind the idea of submission to my husband or other men (in the context of Christianity, which makes a HUGE point about how men are also to respect and cherish women- in other words, submission does not mean I open myself to abuse or anything like that.)
One thing that I noticed in Japan, during Mass, is that I would momentarily have a jolt if I saw a woman, especially a young woman, wearing a veil, but then…I was able to concentrate on the Mass.
As I type now, I have my green scarf (lol bought in Japan) that could double for a veil, on my head, and I’ve done this before. Of course, I won’t let my family see, and I’m not being particularly holy or whatever. As far as I know, I don’t have the Eucharist hiding in my walls or something.
It may just be me…but I seem to be concentrating better as I write. Less pauses, less forgetting of sentences…
To top it all off, Mr. Serrano has pointed out that he’d be comfortable with me wearing a veil. He also said I might like Mexico because that’s more normal (not as much with younger ladies) for women. And then he pointed out, much later, in a nice restaurant that the table cloth looked like a veil.
This is the same decidedly not-so-religious (or so he seems at first sight) Mr. Serrano who likes to write everything he can’t explain at Mass as “simbólico”.
Generally, when God wants me to do something, he bug me until I do it. I have to be open to his bugging, but I can only ignore it for so long.
And He’s telling me to try it out. I’m scared, though. What if a priest takes offense at it and tells me to remove it during Mass? What if the gossip mill starts up? What if I’m not worthy of it? I swear, often, and as I sit right now I’m guilty of a few mortal sins (among them missing Mass to being a lazy lazy woman who wants to sleeeeeeppp) and can’t even receive the Eucharist.
But maybe that is why God is pointing me towards the veil. Part of the reason that I bought my scarf was because it looked a bit like a veil (it did double as one that kept the rain off my head at one point), besides the other part being that Japan is opposed to central heating.
But I don’t want to look like I’m all holy or something- I’m really not…
Maybe I will just experiment with it. Maybe during adoration, when nobody but God is looking.
It just feels like something I should at least try…never know, I may like it….