I’ve Returned!

Well, I’m back from my trip up North with Mr. Serrano. It was beautiful, in spite of the rain, and I learned a lot. We also bickered like crazy, but I don’t think bickering is all that bad. It can be, but it is working for us and as long as we don’t get hurtful its good.

After sleeping like a rock, I’m up and ready to blog/rant/whatever.

So…I went to go check my blog stats and decided that I should look at where you guys are coming from. Its interesting, and makes me feel like I’m computer literate. I don’t know if any of you are stopping to actually read or just clicking a random link, but some of you are coming from some odd places.

Welcome to my blog, especially you people coming from some of the porn sites. No, seriously, I mean it. Besides, the internet is great…for porn! Which, as you already know, is not so great for your soul.

Its like…you are the raccoon, and porn is the anti-freeze. It tastes so good (well….perhaps porn doesn’t taste good, can’t say I’ve ever tried to cook any) but it can kill you. Well, not literally in the bodily sense. If you watch that amount of porn you have an entirely different problem, and should check yourself into a mental hospital ASAP.  But it can kill off your soul a bit.

Anyways, welcome and I hope you are amused by reading this blog.

Oh, anyways, here’s my Rant of The Day:

My uncle/aunt/neighbor/person that never existed but I shall use as an example anyway says that Catholics – any time a sentence starts with this phrase, usually said by someone who has either been raised loosely Catholic or is not Catholic at all, and is usually followed by something horrendously twisted or only somewhat based in reality.

Of course, you may actually meet a Catholic who believes that Mary is equal to God. But that Catholic is wrong.

Here’s a Tip: Know the difference between what a Catholic might believe and what the Church actually teaches. One thing we’re fond of saying is that it doesn’t matter how many people say it, it doesn’t make it true if its a lie. The best spot to see exactly what Catholics should believe, and what a faithful Catholic would believe is the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Also, while I know that some of these stereotypes are from common misunderstandings (I will have to write a post about the linguistic difference between mainline Protestantism and Catholicism…) please keep in mind this list when attempting to engage in a dialogue/argument/attack/question/friendly overture with a Catholic.

1) We pray to Mary, but we don’t.This is one of those linguistic things, but go look up the older version of the word pray. Generally it means that we ask intercession for something, not worship. Praying=worship as the only definition of the word is a modern twist. Remember the Catholic Church is old, so just like your grandpa we might use words in out of date wyas.

2) We pray to the Saints because we can’t talk to God directly, due to some sort of psychological issue. Just to let you know, I find this one insulting, but I’ll explain that in the next point. This is like saying that because you participate in a prayer group at the office you can’t summon the guts to talk to God yourself, or like saying that because you asked your pastor to pray for you you’re scared to communicate with God.

3) Catholics have issues with guilt. or other psychological/emotional issues. I love how every time I feel guilty for something, or have a sense of shame, it gets blamed on me being a Catholic. Oh, I do have guilt issues, but that has more to do with my upbringing (which was only very loosely Catholic ^_^) than anything else. In fact, Catholics are very strongly warned against feeling so guilty that we don’t forgive ourselves of that which God has forgiven. Catholics have no more or less issues than the next person you meet, but I have noticed we are more willing to name the sin. Just because there is a sens of the shame of sin, does not mean that we are overburdened by guilt. Rather we see naming the sin as part of the process of freeing ourselves from it. I find it insulting when people assume right off the bat that because I’m Catholic I must be defective in some way. I must have “issues” that require the much better off Protestant/Agnostic/Atheist/Deist/Buddhist (yes, a Buddhist, or so he claims) to set me right.

It might be a nicer form of bigotry, but its still condescending.

4) Catholics believe they can talk to dead people. This may get brought up when the issue of the Saints comes up. All I have to say is….what is your definition of dead? Are the saints dead? You know, the people who have died and gone to heaven? Isn’t there something in the Bible that says something along the lines that all who have died in Christ are alive in Christ? But what do I know…

5) Catholics don’t read the Bible. Speaking as someone who was 8 or nine when she read the entire Bible (and it was one of the ones that included Shakespearean type language). And please, please do not shoot back when I mention this that most of the Catholics you know don’t read the Bible. You don’t know all the Catholics in the world, and quite a lot of Catholics DO read the Bible. In any case, it would be more correct to say that people in general need to take up some Bible reading. Just because some of us can’t spit out quotes like a computer does not mean that we haven’t read it.

6) Catholics added books to the Bible. This is a something pulled out as if it were an amazing little caveat. Guess what? We added all the books to the Bible, including the ones that early Protestants decided to throw out. Learn your Bible history… I kind of want to say… “No shit sherlock.” when I hear this.

7) Catholics believe that everyone else is going to Hell. Ahh false persecution complex, how amusing you are. We do believe that once people are in Heaven they will be Catholics, but we don’t believe that people who through no fault of their own are not Catholic have an automatic Go-To-Hell card.

8) Catholics are not saved!!!! You know, we *do* just tend to let God do the judging. I don’t see as how that’s a problem but okay… Salvation is always offered us, but we can refuse it through sinning our butts off and not repenting in the slightest. We are all saved by the grace of God, but we have the choice to refuse God’s grace as well. Don’t believe me? Look at the one little worm that started the whole business.

9) Catholics believe science is bad. I normally get this from Atheists. I think if History books actually went and kept the full title of Gregor Mendel (He was a monk, btw) we could actually get rid of some of this misconception. By the way, Galileo was not “persecuted” for sticking up to the Church for scientific views. Besides being somewhat of an arrogant little jerk, he thought he could mix in some scientific theory with theology. The Church, recognizing that yes, theology and scientific theory don’t mix well because they speak to entirely different things, rightly laid a holy smack down on Galileo. They could have done it in a better manner, but hindsight is 20/20 especially in the age where people were still beating their wives with abandon.

10) Catholics believe that the Pope is almost as good as God. Um no. There were like 5 consecutive sucky crappy Popes who did a lot of damage to the Papacy and Christendom. Popes are human like the rest of us. The only difference is that they can speak infallibly. Meaning that if certain strict conditions are met, they are able to speak on matters of faith and morals and remain error free. So if you dig up a Pope from whatever century and one of his letters, and claim this is proof the Papacy isn’t guided by the Holy Spirit, I’m going to ask you what Council that was a part of. The best way to think of infallibility is that if the Pope ever tries to make a dogmatic statement against the Bible (for example, that the Trinity does not exist or that there are many Gods…or that people become Gods…or anything else from Mormonism from that matter) the Holy Spirit will come down upon the Pope. I like to think that if the Pope ever tried lying about dogma that the Holy Spirit would throw the nearest fluffy object into the Pope’s mouth and keep it there until the Pope cries uncle.

But those are just some of my rants. If you want to take a quiz to see what Catholics believe about various things, go to this site:

Three Minute Theology

I’ll be honest- I learned some things there, especially about Saint Paul and the Deacons. I totally bombed those two quizzes.

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