When Is The Right Time To Marry?

I know I promised more on the Mormon thing, but as I am ADD, and have lost the copious amounts of notes I made… I shall just talk about marriage. WHICH, by the way, is not the vocation for everyone, nor is it required to get into the “good” parts of Heaven.

Anywho, Mr. Serrano and I had a very long talk yesterday about Mawidge. (Princess Bride reference yay!) He, being the much more practical one- I’m the dreamer- brought up a few very important points as he poured powdered milk into the calves’buckets.

He doesn’t know how we’re going to be able to do it. Besides the Church issues, we also have to deal with the State. It is highly probable that some jack ass in my country here will want to make it hard for my man in that country there to stay with me in the US.

Trust me, I have seriously considered moving to his country, but I will only do that if I can get a decent job there. (And not lose any citizenship of the US). And decent jobs not being easy to get here, and less so there….

And no…I’m not particularly patriotic, at least not in the way that people elevate patriotism to a second religion. I do know, and acknowledge, however, that the US is the best place to live, even with all of our problems, and Americans in general are pretty good people. Easily misled people, but that’s not unique to our own country.


Mr. Serrano has a project going on in his country. He’s building a home, sending his siblings to school, and supporting his family. One member is simply too old to work, the other has a disability and is a woman- both of which are not helpful in finding a job in a tough market.

He said that he wants to live in the country with them. He’s scared that his older family member will die without him there, and he has to support his family.

However, I brought up the question: How will he find work, if the other members of his family can’t work?

His answer was that he’ll find work somehow, but I pointed out that what if the pay isn’t enough? Wouldn’t he just be working working working- and not enough pay? I’ve seen that happen over here (one of the reasons I get royally annoyed when people decide to label poor people as lazy…). And he had no answer.

Then he asked me what I should do if we had to be separated after the wedding, with me in my country and him in his. What should we do then? What if I were pregnant?

I had no answer…other than that I would rather live poor with him than rich alone…until he brought up just how we can raise children with nothing.

He asked if we could put the wedding date off by a year more, but then I asked him, “When is the right time to marry?” What’s going to happen in a few years? What if we put the wedding off for one year, but then there’s a family crisis? Or a war preventing travel? What if one of us gets sick, or one of our countries goes into a deeper depression/recession?

He had no answer, but I did, and maybe its the wrong one- there is no right time to marry or settle down and have a family. There is always a crisis, always a problem with money, or family, or the economy.

So I asked him, if he believed in God (obviously yes…but these questions need to be asked.) and if he did believe in this God that could create a universe, the planet, and us, why couldn’t He help with our wedding?


And to those who would say I should not bring any children into the world, since the poor are such a drag on society, I’d disagree. Its pretty obvious that the biggest polluters come from rich families with fewer children. They tend to waste more simply because they can- be it water to keep the lawn green, or a landscaping company to care for the yard, a bigger play place for the kids, or that expensive shade of paint inside the house. Paper plates and plastic silverware aren’t saved for the next party, and plastic silverware are not washed, nor are the backs of old calendars used for coloring books for the kids saved. And, I’m sure because I’ve seen it- candles for birthday parties are not saved even when more than half of the candle is still there.

I’ve lived in a poor family, and I’ve known many from rich families. Poor families might only re-use, recycle, and save because they must, but richer families only re-use, recycle, and save when its trendy. They have the money to buy the electric cars, solar panels, special light bulbs, and money to redo the interior of the house with entirely new, earth-friendly insulation.

Its great that they do that (although the light bulbs aren’t exactly earth friendly) but I think that in the long run, poorer families have figured out how to treat the earth better. Not having enough generally necessitates sharing.

Don’t worry, I’m not a socialist. I still believe that if you can manage to be rich, enjoy it, if you’ve earned it. ^_^


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