My Arch-Nemesis and Sweet, Delicious Revenge

She’s painfully thin, has these wrinkles on her forehead that look like so many ripples in the water, is feminist most likely because she is approaching 40 and still hasn’t found a man to settle down with (so therefore must rail against the whole wide world of men…) and unfortunately….

She’s my prof for one of my Spanish classes.

Although quite liberal, she carries with her the old WASP attitude that the world belongs to her, and other rational people other than Catholics (she thinks I’ve been brainwashed by the Church. Seriously. Not kidding at all) and has a wonderful neat little “white man’s burden” complex mixed with a dash of “we don’t associate with those people” unless they have proven their worth to society by a combination of snooty behaviour and lots of disposable income. Those with multiple children, a low income, or minorities who don’t feel the need to be the ethnic token need not apply.

As you can see, this woman and I butt heads constantly. Mostly, I try to avoid it. Mainly this is because this particular prof tried to get me kicked out of her class for something that

  1. Was incredibly, stupidly, unimportant
  2. Showed just how capable of acting like a child she was

However, when the shit starts getting deep, and I can’t roll up my pants any further, I have to say something. Usually its when she starts on a white guilt lecture (no, she has no clue how maddeningly ironic it is that she’s still being racist) or when she starts trying to indoctrinate/”enlighten” us poor souls in the class about how horrible the Fat Ho of Babylon Catholic Church really is.

Has anyone else ever observed that the Church always gets bashed by feminists or some weird brands of Protestantism for being so anti-woman…in completely misogynistic terms?

But, to make a long story short, I pretty much despise this woman, down to her “I’m so rich I can dress like a hobo but still pay $300 per outfit, and not even consider how stupidly insane that really is. Buy Free Trade!”

So, this has lead to many wonderful fantasies of revenge:

  1. Sending her copies of the NRA magazine, Soldier of Fortune, or any number of conservative mags to her mailing address would be sweet.
  2. Sicking the Mormons on her would be hilarious.
  3. Toilet-papering her house, while mash-potatoing, while littering the yard with powdered milk has crossed my mind.
  4. Leaving her name and number for any high school crank caller to find…
  5. Telling her exactly what  I think of her (lack) of teaching ability, publicly
  6. I did consider getting her fired  (due to stuff that normally would get a prof, even with tenure, fired) but due to my college just plain not giving a crap….well that plan has been aborted.

However, I don’t know her address or telephone number… and in any case I’m a little too old to be doing that.

Well, that and the other night my LUTHERAN MoFoA suggested that I do something really Catholic. Its Christian in general…but its über Catholic.

Instead of trying to take over vengance that wasn’t mine to begin with…maybe I should pray for her. You know, because that’s what Jesus would do.

Damnit.

Rosaries it is.

Although…she’d be super pissed to hear of Rosaries being said for her….muahahahah. But I’m not supposed to go trumpeting the whole “I’m praying for you” thing.

Crap. T_T

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