Little by little I’m throwing caution to my paranoid winds, and opening up about where I’m from and who I am. Please dear God don’t let this lead to me being arrested or fired from my job…
In Grand Rapids, Michigan, there is an abortion clinic at 320 Fulton. Its not backed by Planned Parenthood, but they do perform abortions there. And Wednesday is one of those days that they perform abortions.
During 40 days for life, I go with other people to pray at the clinic. Every Wednesday.
One day, we saw a man pushing his girlfriend in, telling her not to look at the people praying. (Technically, its a protest, but we don’t carry signs, and there is no shouting. Prayer only, and only the sidewalk counselors are allowed to talk, because they’ve actually been trained as counselors.) He was angry, she was crying and scared, and he shoved her in.
One day, I saw a woman who worked there poke out from behind the curtains, smile, and wave. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a distorted smile- it was frightening, and made me sick to my stomach. I had to cross myself. I don’t think I’ve ever had that reaction with anyone else, and honestly I don’t even think it was her. It was like the Devil stood next to her, mocking me.
Today, I saw this young girl walk in with her friend, scared. And for some reason today I couldn’t pray very well. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the Devil whispering in my ear, telling me that there is no hope for her or the baby (fetus is Latin for baby), that all my prayers are useless, and what can a sinful person like me expect to do. Why would God listen to me, the woman currently covered in mortal sin?
Sometimes, I get so angry. I want to scream at that boyfriend- YOU GO BE A REAL MAN, and don’t pressure this girl to do something that horrible to herself and another human being. Step up and help them both! Grow a pair!
I want to unleash whatever little power God will allow directly at the Devil, and literally beat the shit out of him. I want to go Saint Leutfridus on his butt, close him up in a chapel, and cane him until he never sets foot outside of hell again.
I want to yell to the sweet young girl that came in this morning, and say “I will be your godmother for your child!! Do you have any idea what that means in Catholicism? That means I will be the second mom to your child, and it means I will be your sister for life!”
I want to open my mouth and scream, without words, the type of scream that rips the universe apart, for all the lives and souls being lost in that damned building, for all the hate being engendered there.
I want to take my fingers and pry open the eyes of every single person who has blinded themselves to the truth- that that is a LIFE, a CHILD, and that the answer to everything is not death.
But there is that tiny voice, telling me that all will be okay, that God does and will speak to the hearts of those “doctors”, the women, the boyfriends, mothers, grandmothers, and todos los demas and even if I don’t see it- it does help.
The women who have been in this movement for a while told me that they know of at least 50 people over the past few years who must have heard the voice of God- they turned away and did not abort their children and scar themselves for life. That’s at this one building, and while other abortions do happen, and while I wish that I could see with my own eyes people turning away-
I will have faith in the power of prayer. I will hope.
Oh, and here’s a neat thing about going from pro-choice to pro-life, by one of my favorite bloggers: