ALOT of things have happened since I last posted. I’ve been busy, and honestly…I needed some time away from the internet. I haven’t even really been on Facebook in a while. I’m coming back though. So, this is one of those re-cap posts.
First, Mr. Serrano has found a very possible place. We’re having a hard time tracking down a place to live, but suddenly out of nowhere a very big house appears. A big, decrepit house, but with rent at dirt cheap and gas not being an issue, we are hoping it will work out.
God willing, I am moving out the first or second week of September.
No, I still haven’t gotten the dispensation yet.
I don’t even know if I have a chance, and I’m terrified to try. I’m afraid to hear that what I’m suffering isn’t abuse, or that since it isn’t physical abuse (for the most part) that its not that bad, and that I should hold out until marriage. I’m afraid the dear old Father Mr. Serrano and I have grown attached to will think we were just trying to use him.
But then, I remember that phrase “God willing”. Please, God, don’t will that I stay longer with this crazy woman who birthed me.
Mr. Serrano has talked me into giving a week’s notice to move out. I really don’t want to- I want to insult my parents at this point. I want, possibly even need, to shove it in their faces, to say “I don’t believe in living together before marriage, but you didn’t leave me any other choice”. In the end, it would be useless anyway. They don’t take marriage seriously, so why would they care? Mr. Serrano pointed out that I do want to be the adult my parents are not, so I will give them a week as long as I can flee to Mr. Serrano’s place if things become too intense.
Second, I’ve been working. I will say just one thing. For you Mexican Americans out there, or heck, just Mexicans (although I notice you guys are nicer) who bitch and moan about my accent while I’m doing my job, please, please, please consider this:
HOLY FREAKING CRAP YOU ARE LIVING IN THE US LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE KIDS HERE, YOU OLD FREAKING HAG. AND YOUR KIDS SPEAK ENGLISH. WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MY ACCENT, OR MOVE THE F**** BACK TO MEXICO, WHERE EVERYBODY WILL TALK JUST LIKE YOU. OH, AND ANOTHER THING…STOP TREATING YOUR LAGNUAGE LIKE A FREAKING CLUB!! NOOOO I DON’T WANT TO BE A MEXICANA, ESPECIALLY SOME CHAIN SMOKING BEER GUZZLING VOICE LIKE ROCKS SCRAPING OVER PAVEMENT MEXICANA. AHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU’RE JUST A SLIGHTLY MORE TAN VERSION OF WHITE TRASH TRAILER PARK HAG. AAAHAHAHAHAHEJALERJA;ELKJRASLDKJFASDLKJFA;SLKDJFA;LKDJF!!!
Ahem. That might be mentioned in the confessional. Maybe. And that is what I have to say about being a bilingual customer service worker. Pardon my abusive language.
Third, I have found The Dress. It is gorgeous, but also kind of pricey. Soooo I’m going to see if I can get it somewhere else for cheap.
Fourth, I’m planning my wedding, bridal shower, engagement party, and bacholorette party and reception. To be fair, Mr. Serrano has the reception pretty well covered. The other stuff…I don’t even know if its worth it. The wedding, yes of course. Bridal shower? Its the only legit way to get stuff from people without being tacky/greedy. Engagement party? I’d love to do something elegant, but my family is NOT elegant. Not in the slightest.
Oh, and I’m broke. Even though I would love to do all that stuff, I don’t want to pay any big buku bucks. Also, notice that it says “I” am paying. Mr. Serrano is included in that one. But not my parents.
So, fifth, my parents are freaking awesome. Since they can’t do anything but obsess over money, can’t allow me to be happy for one second, and use whatever guilt tools are at their disposal to get me to do whatever it is that they want…I’m just not going to deal with it. I wish my mom were a real mom that I didn’t feel ashamed of- one that rejoices with me, helps me pick out a dress, giggles like a girl with me. I wish my Dad were a real dad who didn’t assume that the only reason I would marry is because of a surprise pregnancy. I wish they had been real parents. But wishing changes exactly nothing, so screw it all Mr. Serrano and I will pay for everything. It will be 10 times harder, but who cares.
By the way, we have decided that if the behavior of my mother gets out of hand (my dad is the more calm one) we will threaten that she will not be allowed to come to the wedding. Its not just a bluff either. I don’t feel like worrying myself sick on the greatest day of my life, and at the same time freaking out that Mr. Serrano’s family will think that I am some sort of freak because my mother is a freak and 3 halves.
6th, it seems like this is the year for vocations. First, my MOH decides she wants to become a Lutheran pastor. (I have mixed feelings, but in the end I figure we need God all we can get, and she does have a great relationship with him.) Second, Ms. Allie is going to become a SISTER FOR REALZZZZZ. I can’t wait to see her in her cute nun getup. Third, a lot of people I know are getting married, and not inviting me to the wedding. Those people are getting erased from my FB. Is it petty? Perhaps, but seriously, what a nasty snub. Especially by one couple in particular.
Seventh, and last, I have great news. The girl from my posts before is pregnant, still pregnant, and will be raising her child with her mother! Her cousin will be her godmother. I wanted to let anyone reading this know that your prayers really did have an effect. We saved 2 beautiful lives. THANK YOU GOD!
I know I’ve been writing a lot of negative stuff lately, but I’ve been in a rut. I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of it. Actually, I am. I’m moving out. I can’t wait to be someplace where I’m actually wanted!! Its going to be great, even if problematic. I’m looking forward to cooking and being able to use a living room for the first time in years.