Jobs do take time away from blogging, but in any case I’m still cosntantly thinking about blogging. Mr. Serrano and I have been diving right into the Bible, and are about halfway through Matthew. Reading the Bible in another language really helps me to focus on the meaning of the phrases, and I get to hear the poetry differently. Its amazing how the poetry comes through no matter what language the Bible is written in. Its taking us quite a while to get through it, because I keep pausing every so often to share what I know about a verse and the tidbits of Jewish culture I’ve managed to glean from Catholic Radio (1140 AM if you’re on the west side of Michigan), theology courses, and random blogs I read.
I’ve apparently learned A LOT. And it still isn’t enough!!
However, all this praying, Bible reading, and Mass going has Mr. Serrano convinced that I’ve always been this way. As you might have read before on this blog, that is not at all correct. In my long journey to rough on the edges Catholicism, I have gone from one end of the crazy spectrum to the other. I’ve also gone from one crazy, mislead, befuddled end to a happier middle, although the crazy, befuddled people would probably think I’ve just gone “ultra-traditional” because I toy with the idea of wearing a mantilla to Mass.
Mr. Serrano has only known post-confirmation Katoriku, before I got addicted to all things Catholic. So he kind of has an image of me as a Saint (well..a swearing, ranting, wannabe Saint anyways…). In order to help him with his faith (and to laugh at myself) here are a few of the things I used to be A-freaking-OKAY with. I mean I LOVED this stuff.
- Guitar/Drum/Happy-Clappy Mass: Oh yeah. I LOVED that crap. Guitar out of tune? Visiting Christian band that features lyrics that may or may not be Catholic? Drums loud enough to bust hearing aids and eardrums alike? OH BRING IT ON! Hey, at one point I actually did think the reason I came to Mass was to be entertained.
- The Gospel of Dr. Seuss: No, I don’t hate Dr. Seuss, but at one point I sure ate it up when Father Hippy Dippy Priest Guy read to us from “The Book of Dr. Seuss”. Oh how I gushed about that, because it was oh-so-unconventional and because I was too young and dumb to recognize severe burn-out when I see it.
- Holding hands/Going into Jesus Pose at the Our Father: HOLY CRAP! LOOK AT HOW FRIENDLY AND HOLY I AM! Let’s touch our hands and spread germs everywhere. Let’s find a cute boy to sit next to at Mass, because it isn’t creeping if its at Mass! Let’s go into “instant praise-and-worship”mode without really knowing what the crap we’re doing! Yay!
- Women Priests: OMG, can you believe like, how behind the times the Catholic Church is? Like, women still can’t be priests, just because they lack a penis. Oh, and priests should totally marry. Because its not like they aren’t totally overworked anyways.
- Shorts/Jeans/Gardening Clothes to Mass: I used to think that this was a great way to show humility, or whatever. It seemed like a great excuse at the time. Because what really matters is just that you show up! And that is totally not condescending at all! Although I still slip and wear jeans to Mass its usually because all the other clothes aren’t clean, or my other clothes are too worn, and I try to make sure that the jeans are nice and new looking. Its going to be easier to dress well soon, since I’m able to set aside money for a wardrobe. Not to say that people should avoid Mass because they’re broke and can’t afford it, but this is to say that if you can, you should dress nicely.
- Jesus’s feet touched the earth, so why shouldn’t we use clay vessels? Yes, let’s all be “humble” and just ignore the fact that the Church Jesus founded to guide us specifically says that we better at least use metal, since we don’t want to leave bits of Him floating around to get trampled on. I used to think clay was okay, until someone pointed out to me that Jesus was also beaten to heck, and its a safe guess he doesn’t feel like going through another beating.
- Peace-Out: oh yeah, nothing says cool and reverent like thumping your chest and making the peace-sign to friends across the aisles. Hey, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an irreverent type of person- I like a little humor in everything, especially my religion. However, the crazy drawn out Sign of Peace has gotten out of control. I used to love it. Now I dread it. Peaceful it is not.
- Christian Re-incarnation: No, really. I used to think that was totally a possible legit Christian doctrine that the Church just had to catch up on. Now, I tend to think that God could use reincarnation, just like he could suddenly decide that the Church needs 2 Popes. Possible? With God, anything is. Likely? Only if God is Mormon.
- All religions, at least Christian sects, are the same/ equal in truth: That lasted until I chose to pick a religion, even just Christianity. Why care about religion if all religions are equally true, even if they all contradict each other? If all of those religions are true, then doesn’t that make them false? So then I shouldn’t believe in God or any religion…only then I’ve still got a belief, even if its a negative belief. Eventually, I realized that people believe in what they find to be true, even if they’re mistaken.
- A mantilla is a sign that you must have been abused as a child by horrible horrible things with penises: Yeah, I believed that mantillas were a horrible sign of acceptance of male oppression. I also thought that sisters should not wear habits, even though I’ve always been drawn to them. Now I realize that mantillas are a very public statement about a personal conviction, and that the intentions are usually very good. Most women wearing mantillas (at least in the US) are doing so out of respect for tradition and a desire to feel closer to our Mother, Mary.
I used to be okay with all that, and more. All I can say is that Confirmation does change you, and in my case it wasn’t noticeable to me for quite a while. So, for anyone glancing through my blog, no I was not this horrible Catholic that I am now.
As far as the saint thing goes…le sigh. I’ve got a lot of work to do.